A Soul Tree Journey

with amanda joy

Recent Posts

  • feeling foggy

    My view this week has been various shades of foggy. On this day I’m above rather than inside the fog. This is obviously the preferred vantage point. Because if I’m completely honest, there’s an aspect of smoke as well, with wood fires burning in the wintertime.

    I looked for poems or quotes to accompany the photo and found this …

    ‘Sometimes when you lose your way in the fog, you end up in a beautiful place. Don’t be afraid of getting lost’. – Mehmet Murat Ildan

    In finding this quote, I also found myself in the inspired and inspiring world of words from Turkish playwright and author, Mehmet Murat ildan.

    Here are some more that I’d like to share:

    ‘If you have summer in your soul, winter will only caress you, if you have winter in your soul, even summer will freeze you’.~ Mehmet Murat ildan

    ‘Whether it’s a beautiful view, a beautiful poem, a beautiful touch or a beautiful word, anything that makes your head dizzy is a fine wine’.~ Mehmet Murat ildan

    January 6, 2023

  • looking ahead …

    At the end of a year, we look back. We can see it all because we have lived it. We review the year just past, perhaps with some judgement, perhaps even some regrets. As we look ahead to a New Year, what do we see? It’s an unknown place, the future. There is a new horizon to look toward and reach for. New space and time to fill. We can fill it with positive experiences and enjoyment. Or we can fill it with our disappointment and unhappiness. It’s up to us. To you and me.

    As we look ahead, it’s usually with some optimism. Human nature is like that. We want to see the best. We like to hope for the best. I think that 2022 has been a lot to deal with. Globally and individually. New realities ask us to adjust and change. We are being asked to be ‘different’ and to respond differently. To shift in new ways and go in new directions.

    A ‘new normal’ is a phrase we hear. This will mean different things for different people. My new normal means ‘rising above’. I’m adapting and accepting. Releasing the old to make way for the new. And I’m growing.

    Just now, I hear and see more fireworks. It’s the evening of January 1, 2023. It seems some people didn’t have enough yesterday!! I see this as a sign. To find what you love, then love it more. Find what you enjoy and do it more. Appreciate. Each and every moment.

    And we can celebrate the feeling of A New Year, every day of the year. Why not?? With or without fireworks.

  • a new year

    A New Year … of Space

    For growth
    For change
    To appear

    A New Year … of Time

    For wishes
    For dreams
    To come true

    .

    A New Year
    A New Vision
    For life and living

    Of imagination
    And creation
    Wonderings

    Of possibility
    And desirability
    Expansions

    .

    A New Year
    A New Version
    Of you and of me

    Not to replace
    Or to reject
    But to renew

    Of who you are
    Who you can be
    Complete

    🤍

    ajh 30.12.22

  • inside a rain cloud

    6 pm in the evening.

    In the tropics, afternoon monsoon storms have just rolled in.

    I’m listening to Jung Jaeil’s ‘la strada’ from the ‘seasons of change’ album.

    In the background is the sound of rain.

    I’m on the 31st floor and sitting for a brief time inside a rain cloud.

    In the distance, there is a hint of blue sky and some sunshine.

    At this moment, there is peace, solitude, and completeness.

    I collect moments like this and put them away for another rainy day.

  • on seeing

    Why is it we sometimes do not see?

    … what is right in front of us
    … what is staring us in the face
    … what is so clear and obvious

    We don’t always see because

    … our eyes are not open
    … our minds will not accept
    … our hearts are not ready


    This artwork is in the park I visit most days. I even sit nearby. But yesterday evening at sunset was the first time I noticed it. This observation is not related to anything in particular. It has no immediate relevance that I can see. Yet.

    I went back to the park this morning at sunrise. I sat on my bench with the artwork in view. And I reflected on why I hadn’t truly seen it before. This is what I noticed. I was watching the birds. Reflecting on life. Feeling the breeze on my face. Sitting inside a sunrise. And I was breathing …

    Commissioned artwork. ‘Echo’ by Jason Sims (2019) at Heywood Park. December 17, 2022

  • on being a writer. or not.

    I’m still deciding whether I’m a writer or not. Whether I can call myself a writer.

    And perhaps ‘deciding’ isn’t the right word to use. I don’t think it’s a decision. It feels more like I need permission.

    Can I call myself a writer if no-one reads what I write? I’m not sure. Some people will say things like, “if you write then you’re a writer”. I don’t think this is true.

    But I do think it is about intention. And it’s also about connection. It’s about wanting or needing to communicate what is in a mind and what is in a heart.

    When I woke up this morning, I didn’t feel like going walking. I felt like staying in bed. But I got up, got ready to go out and bribed myself with the promise of coffee and pain au chocolat on the way home.

    But when I went downstairs and opened the front door, it was raining. Just a little. So I did the only sensible thing. I went back to bed. And I wrote this piece.

    Now that I’m finished writing, the rain has cleared along with my heart and I’m ready for my walk. Everything has its own time. We just need to pay a little attention.

    And have I answered my question? Am I or am I not? Have I made a decision or given myself permission? Yes, I think I have …

  • your heart knows the way

    A second chance. Starting over. A new beginning. These are our choices to make.

    At any stage of life, there is the potential to become something different. Something new. To become someone new. Or as a dear friend has said to me, ‘No, it’s still you … it’s just another version of you’.

    In my life, I’ve had a career, family and friends, love and loss. There have also been points of, what’s the word … crossroads, I suppose. Points at which there was a chance to take a new direction or a different path. I didn’t always take that chance.

    What I also see is that, if we don’t learn a lesson in life, the same challenge will appear, and appear again until we learn the lesson. Sometimes it takes a while … it did for me.

    But no matter how long it takes, or at what stage of the journey our directions change, what is important is that we pay attention. Pay attention to where we are. Pay attention to where – and who – we want to be.

    These decisions are not made with our minds but come from our hearts.

    Your heart knows the way. Run in that direction.

    Rumi

  • wind flowers

    Sometimes, we float on the surface of life.
    We drift with the currents of the everyday.
    Carried along by circumstance, not dreams,
    Conforming to expectations and plans.

    Sometimes, hope rises to the surface
    So our dreams can breathe again.
    And the winds of chance and change
    Can allow us to find new ways to live.

  • daring to dream

    Sometimes in life, things will collide. One will give meaning to the other. It will add a new perspective, and perhaps bring resolution.

    My first thing is that I recently completed a training and was asked to write a testimonial. It took me a little while and some thought to write one that I was happy with. When you’re writing for someone else, you can’t just blurt words out like I do here

    After I sent the email, the reply asked me, “And what title should I put under your testimonial?” In other words, what do you do or how do you describe your work?

    Now, I retired from teaching several years ago, so I can no longer claim the title of ‘a teacher’. So, what is the answer? What do I do?

    While I’ve been pondering this, the second thing showed up. This week I’ve been sorting through papers in my study and I found a letter that I wrote to myself many years ago. It told me – reminded me – of my story then.

    At the time, I was unable to find work and unable to get a permanent visa for the country I was living in. And I was certainly very unhappy. The letter talked of wanting to become a writer. The letter is dated 9.9.97.

    As I read the letter last week and as I write this now, I’m more than a little heart broken. I’m sad for how I felt then. I’m regretful for lost years. I’m sorry that I’m still not who I want to be. Or what I might become.

    I realise now that where I am this morning is a third thing. I’m on my morning walk, pausing to sit on a bench as the sun rises through the trees. I’m listening to Park Hyo-Shin sing and I have nowhere else to be. And I’m writing.

    My question for myself is do I dare? Can I become a writer? Am I a writer if no-one is reading? Perhaps though, I already am   … Just now the sun has shifted. It is striking my face and shining directly in my eyes. I close them, just a little. And dream.

  • a poem

    a poem

    Sometimes words fall out of me, from my mind and onto the screen. Although, I’m not sure they do come from my mind because they are just ‘there’. There is no conscious ‘thinking’ that I’m aware of.

    Since words simply appear, I’m not really sure what to do with them. But I’ve decided to share them because this year is about trying new things and to dare, just a little! I’m also trying not to edit myself or self-critique what I write. This is not easy, but I must or I wouldn’t share anything at all!

    One morning, I woke up so very clear-headed and so truly ‘awake’ that it was unusual for me. Then these words appeared.

    ‘wonderfully awake’

    I wake up. Feeling
    Wonderfully awake

    Rested
    Full of energy
    Alive

    I get up. Feeling
    Wonderfully focused

    Driven
    Full of purpose
    Inspired

    I show up. Feeling
    Wonderfully centred

    Balanced
    Full of peace
    Serene

    I step up. Feeling
    Wonderfully brave

    Daring
    Full of confidence
    Determined

    I rise up. Feeling
    Wonderfully inspired

    Excited
    Full of dreams
    Hopeful

    Ready now. To live up
    To possibilities

  • time flies …

    Today, I took the bus. I don’t usually, because I mostly drive where I need to go. But today it was easier and more convenient not to have to worry about parking.

    The reason I’m telling this story is that I have a free bus pass. You know, for older people. Actually, anyone over 50 is called a ‘senior’ and is able to have free public transport. Thank you very much. Really.

    I’m thinking, though, about how old I don’t feel!! Now that my back has stopped twinging, I’m feeling fine, active and loving life. And my grey hair is glorious!!

    So, a message for young and younger-than me people, that you don’t need to fear aging. There’s a lot of freedom ahead in being older. And you know what you want more, as well as where you want to go. Whether you drive, fly, or take the bus!

    Anyway, taking the bus isn’t so bad. I listened to music all the way. And I wrote this.

    I wrote the post above for my Instagram page. It’s a little reflection with motivational intent because many of my readers are young people. My journey with Instagram is one that began with a small piece of writing for a quite specific audience. The journey has lasted for a year now and I’ll happily continue. I don’t have a large following but I’m not looking for more. Those who find me are enough, and I find it interesting and rewarding to have an audience that crosses countries, languages and generations, too.

    Thinking more, though, about time passing as we move through life … Well, it’s something we all think more about as we get older. It’s natural, of course. To ponder time passing as we get to the ‘final chapters’ of our life story. The apparent speeding up of time the closer our ‘expiry date’ gets. The wishing or hoping for more time, perhaps. Trying not to regret time ‘wasted’.

    I think, too, that going through the covid pandemic experience has made us a little more aware, a lot more cognisant of what life means to us and how we want to spend our time. However much time that may be.

    Of course, we have always known that our time is limited here, that we are human and that along with life comes death. But it’s as if we have all been given a wake-up call, a collective slap in the face, if you like. That even though we are here now, there’s no guarantee of tomorrow.

    So, yes, time has become more meaningful and more precious. Precisely because we can’t control how much we have, but we can control what we do with the time we’ve got.

    And the photo? It’s of a Salvador Dali sculpture to promote an exhibition here. It was taken at the airport which was my bus trip destination. No, I wasn’t travelling or flying anywhere. But that’s another story …

  • reasons to write – 2

    For a personal blog, which this is, the reasons to write are all about me! Writing here is somewhere I can be most free. I am free to decide what I say and how. Free to share as much or as little as I want. And I’m able to decide why I write.

    My reasons to write are likely similar to many other writers. There’s nothing special about me. Except that because each of us is unique and individual, we are all special.

    Here are some of my reasons to write …

    One. To reflect. Because questions arise. Answers are sought. And reflection is a path to getting there. Reflecting is part of my personal journey.

    Two. To recount. Because stories are what writers tell. Stories relate experiences, and sometimes share wisdoms. Recounting is how I connect with others.

    Three. To remember. Because this is where I can save memories. Things to cherish, places to keep, people, too. Remembering is linking my past to my future.

    I began writing in August of 2021. I had been away from home since March 2020. The time in between was spent waiting, enduring, but also growing. There was a lot of time with not much to do. There was a lot of time without distractions. Time was transformative.

    As it turned out, time was what it took to look inside. To see who I was and decide who I wanted to be. There was time to grieve for the past. There was time to dream for the future.

    And writing became a way through. It helped me get through issues from the past, as well as the struggles of the present. Writing is how I connected with myself by connecting with others. This is my reason to write.