Sometimes in life, things will collide. One will give meaning to the other. It will add a new perspective, and perhaps bring resolution.
My first thing is that I recently completed a training and was asked to write a testimonial. It took me a little while and some thought to write one that I was happy with. When you’re writing for someone else, you can’t just blurt words out like I do here
After I sent the email, the reply asked me, “And what title should I put under your testimonial?” In other words, what do you do or how do you describe your work?
Now, I retired from teaching several years ago, so I can no longer claim the title of ‘a teacher’. So, what is the answer? What do I do?
While I’ve been pondering this, the second thing showed up. This week I’ve been sorting through papers in my study and I found a letter that I wrote to myself many years ago. It told me – reminded me – of my story then.
At the time, I was unable to find work and unable to get a permanent visa for the country I was living in. And I was certainly very unhappy. The letter talked of wanting to become a writer. The letter is dated 9.9.97.
As I read the letter last week and as I write this now, I’m more than a little heart broken. I’m sad for how I felt then. I’m regretful for lost years. I’m sorry that I’m still not who I want to be. Or what I might become.
I realise now that where I am this morning is a third thing. I’m on my morning walk, pausing to sit on a bench as the sun rises through the trees. I’m listening to Park Hyo-Shin sing and I have nowhere else to be. And I’m writing.
My question for myself is do I dare? Can I become a writer? Am I a writer if no-one is reading? Perhaps though, I already am … Just now the sun has shifted. It is striking my face and shining directly in my eyes. I close them, just a little. And dream.
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